Those dreams of helplessness are all anxiety dreams. I used to have them when I was sick. Guys would start fights with me and my arms wouldn’t move. All kinds of shit like you’ve described. Never about the actual illness. Just reoccurring dreams where, in the end, I was powerless to fate.

I’m kind of a control freak who is easily frustrated by what I view as situations where I’m not in control, so illness drove me nuts. You are also from what I’ve observed.

It’s hard to change how you’re wired. I haven’t figured out how to do it. I’m better than I was young, but I still want to grab someone by the neck once a week. For you, it’s other types of conflict you find yourself in.



You need some moderately intense activity. Start slow, but throw yourself into something. It’s what works for me. You are wound pretty tight. I’m similar and it’s easy to see in others. I doubt either of us are going to become zen masters, so find some physical outlet. It truly works better than anything else.