I'm a 54 year old female radio listener, and I have a felony record. Here is my story.

[Escapade]

Hi poker people,

My name is Julie. Maybe that is my real name, maybe it isn't. I'm 54 years old, and my life today isn't very exciting. I have been listening to Pokerfraudalert Radio for about 2 years, and I finally decided it was time to make a forum post. Just in case you think maybe this is a fake account, you can ask Dan Druff, as he has texted with me and can tell you I am real.



CHAPTER 1 MY MOTHER THE WHORE

My old life was very different from my present life. I was conceived at fucking Woodstock of all places, during the so-called summer of love. My mom was 17 and did a ton of drugs and had no clue who my dad was. From what I understand she was high and fucking randoms there. She was a real piece of work, and I didn't cry she died.

My grandparents were very religious. They were barely tolerating my mom no longer going to church with them, and her wild behavior of which they probably knew about 5% of what was really going on. When she learned she was pregnant and broke it to my grandfather, he blew his top and threw her out. From what I was told he made the decision in about 20 minutes. My mom was crashing on friends couches and had me in early 1970, when she was 18. She liked to throw in my face all the time that she would've aborted me had it been legal. They legalized abortion in New York in 1970, so in 1969 she was stuck with me. I'm sure the religious right would have a field day with my story if I told it on Twitter or something.

Mom took a bus with me cross country to San Francisco, where she thought hippy culture would welcome her. Well sure, the SF hippies were happy to take in a hot 18 year old chick who was gonna fuck everyone and take any drugs put in front of her, but a screaming infant is a real downer, man. Wasn't long until she realized she was unwelcome in the spaces she tried to enter, and she realized she needed a profession. What better profession than the world's oldest?

Yes my mom was a whore. She established herself in Oakland. At the time Oakland was like 2/3 white and 1/3 black. I know hard to picture today, but that's really what it was. She made some friend there who was a fellow streetwalker who also had a kid, and basically they traded shifts watching each other's kids. Never liked her friend's daughter who was 3 years older than me and bullied me a lot, until I was old enough for mom to leave me alone in the apartment.

If you fucked a white Oakland hooker between 1970 and 1999 you might have been with my mom. I don't know what she would have done with herself had she lived longer, but she died of a drug OD at the age of 47 in 1999. By that point we hadn't talked in 10 years and I hate to admit it didn't bring on any sadness when I got the news of what happened.

[garrett]

Welcome

[Escapade]

CHAPTER 2 RICK AND MIKE

I grew up in Oakland. I went to public school there, and my high school years were 84-88, which as you can imagine were plagued with gang issues. I tried to keep my head down and not get into any beefs with the rough looking black chicks there who were mostly bigger and stronger than me, and would have delighted beating the pretty white girl to a pulp. In fact I tried to stay away from the black guys at school too, not because I was racist but because any attention from them would put a target on my back from the black girls. Like my mom, I was a tall, thin, pretty blonde back then, and I was getting a lot of attention from both boys and men. Today I look like any ordinary mid 50s woman you'd see at the grocery store, but back then the attention from guys was unavoidable.

I was disgusted by mom and what she did for a living. So many girls grow up wishing for their first boyfriend and romanticizing it, but I was the opposite. I had a very bad opinion of boys and men. I never had a dad, and all I knew of men was that they paid to use my mom as an empty vessel for their own pleasure. I wondered how they could do this and not realize my mom was a human being on the other end, even as shitty of a human being as she was. I pictured any males giving me attention as being the same as these guys, even the ones my age. I always wondered if this type of thing led to some girls becoming lesbian. I even wondered myself if I should try being a lesbian given my hatred of men, but the thought of going down on a girl seemed nasty and it just wasn't my bag. I knew I was attracted to guys but at the same time they disgusted me.

I had a few friends in high school, all female and all white except for one black chick who later reminded me of Lisa Turlte when that show came on a few years later. None of them knew about what my mom was. None of them ever came over. I made excuses and said my mom kept the house messy and described a hoarder without knowing the term, and said I was embarrassed to let them see. In reality mom had no fucking filter and would have taken phone calls from Johns right in front of my friends and said the grossest shit. I knew because she did it in front of me and would smack me if I complained or even made a face.

We got to senior year 1987-88, and all of my friends had boyfriends while I did not. I of course did not explain the real reason, but just told my friends my mom wouldn't allow it. If they only knew! I probably had about 50 guys ask me out by that point, and I politely turned them all down, giving the same mom excuse. In my period 1 econ class I ended up next to a geeky kid named Mike. He was pretty much a character from Revenge of the Nerds without the silly laugh. You would expect that the gangbangers were the ones who picked on Mike at a rough school like that, but you'd be wrong. The gangbangers didn't give a crap about nerds like Mike, they were too worried about their rivals. The ones picking on Mike were the asshole kids who weren't in gangs but wanted someone to pick on. I was not attracted to Mike at all, but there was no avoiding the fact that he was kind and appeared lonely. I almost wanted to ask him out on a sympathy date, both to make his day and give a fuck you to all the piece of shit bullies who picked on him and thought he'd never get a girl like me. Here I'd have rejected them and been seen dating Mike, boy would that cause some drama! Unfortunately I just wasn't attracted to Mike and did not want to lead him on. He deserved better than his first experience being one given to him out of sympathy.

As a middle ground I decided to befriend Mike, not date him. We had an awkward moment hanging out where he tried to kiss me once, I had to give him the speech that he's my friend and I didn't want to ruin it, blah blah, and after that it was cool. Turned out Mike was a computer hacker like in the movie War Games and I thought it was really cool and interesting. I didn't have the ability to do stuff like that, but he would show me what he could do and I was very interested to see it all. I think Mike felt that if he impressed me enough with it that maybe I would change my mind about dating him but he never said it out loud.

Right now you are probably thinking that this stupid old bitch is just rambling about dumb shit in her high school years which you don't care about. Fair. But I'm getting to the point, I assure you.

One of the guys who had asked me out and I had turned down was named Rick. I actually didn't know Rick very well. Unlike Mike, I was attracted to Rick. He was a big burly guy, especially for a high school senior, but did not play any sports. He was actually kind of a delinquent but this didn't appeal to me nor turn me on, as anything like that made me think of him as the type of guy who would be paying to fuck my mom.

Well one day I'm walking through the hallway and I hear a commotion and 4 bullies are just being so shitty to Mike. One of them knocked his backpack off him, the other held him while a third was going through it and just throwing his stuff everywhere. The 4th guy actually took one of Mike's school book into the bathroom, which was right in that hallway, and came out saying he tripped and accidentally dropped it in the toilet, while the other 3 guys laughed their asses off. I ran up and started shouting at them that they were pieces of shit but they just gave me smart ass answers and kept laughing.

Then suddenly I heard a grunt and the sound of a person hitting the floor. Rick had just come up and clocked one of them in the face. Like really fucking hard, I mean the guy looked like he was out cold. He pulled the guy holding Mike off and punched him in the stomach so hard that it knocked the wind out of the guy and he was gasping for air. He asked the other 2, "What the fuck is going on here and why are you talking to Julie that way?"

I told Rick what was happening and he grabbed the dude who had thrown Mike's book in the toilet and told him to open his own backpack. He told Mike to come over and look in it and see if the guy had the same book. He did, he told Mike to take it, then he dragged the guy into the bathroom where the book was in the toilet and beat the crap out of him. The last guy ran off like a bitch. Rick came out and told the guy he had punched in the stomach that Mike was his friend and he was going to kill them if they ever bugged me or him again. It was a lie, Rick barely knew Mike, but he did it all to impress me.

I looked around and there was a huge crowd of people who heard the noise or saw the fighting, and everyone just kind of stood there amazed at the one man wrecking crew Rick was. Even the gangbangers were sitting there with a look on their face like "DANG!" Nobody expected this, Rick hadn't done anything like this before, and nobody had ever stuck up for Mike until this day.

Unfortunately among that crowd was one of the teachers. Seeing a bloodied kid out cold on the ground was a spectacle even in this school, and the teacher told Rick to come with her, and brought him straight to the vice principal. He was suspended, then expelled a week later when it turned out the kid he knocked out had a serious concussion. Mike and I tried to go to the vice principal and defend him but he wouldn't hear of it. He wasn't going to listen to two kids telling him how to do his job.

I told Mike that I was sad we had no way to get a hold of Rick and thank him. He said that he could get anyone's phone number, and the next day he came to school with Rick's number. Fortunately Rick had his own phone number which a lot of kids didn't. I called Rick after school that day. When he answered, the first words out of my mouth were, "I thought what you did was so cool." He paused and said, "Julie?" I said yes, and we talked for 3 hours that night. I came over to Rick's house the next day after school, and had my first kiss. Rick was the first boy who was truly appealing to me. I felt with him what I had been missing my entire life, a strong male to make me feel safe. Suddenly I saw him as the opposite of these pathetic sniveling scumbuckets who had been coming over to our apartment and still fucking my mom to that day, while I would put on my Walkman and try to drown it out with Duran Duran.

I admit I didn't realize at the time that Rick was playing high school superhero less to be the defender of nerds, and more to find a way to get my attention. He saw the jerks yelling at me and figured he had his in. All I could see was he righted wrongs and became a martyr. To me he was almost a saint.

I brought Mike into the fold once I became more comfortable around Rick. I asked if he was serious about Mike being his friend. He said fuck no, he just wanted to make sure those guys didn't retaliate against Mike when he wasn't around. I told him Mike was a really nice guy and didsome fascinating shit on the computer like a real life Matthew Broderick. I told him maybe we could go visit Mike at his house, hang out, and watch him start World War 3. Rick said sure why not, we knocked on Mike's door, and I could tell he was shocked to see us, like why would the two lovebirds come over and want to hang out with him? But it was cool and Rick and Mike had a lot more in common than I thought. Both liked metal and wrestling, and Rick was a lot more interested in the computer stuff than I thought he'd be.

Little did I know that in 2 years we would all be in jail.

[Escapade]

Wow that was fucking long, sorry everyone. I just looked at how that all dragged and if I wasn't so tired I would go back and edit if that's even possible here. But I am just going to leave it be and hope you enjoy my story so far.

If you would like to read more please let me know and I will post the other chapters which I am making up as I go along lol

None of my friends today know about any of this stuff so it feels good to type it out here. Good night.

[sonatine]

welcome, have a femboy on the house.

 

Embedded Tweet

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[WillieMcFML]

welcome julie

hell of an introduction

[Tellafriend]

you are going to fit in nicely.

[FRANKRIZZO]

sounds like a druffy time story

[Dan Druff]

Not what I expected to see this morning when you texted you might post on the forum, but very interesting.

Looking forward to chapter 3, and welcome.

[FRANKRIZZO]

Sorry if you aren't a dupe leery of brand new posters, welcome

[Sloppy Joe]

Nice to see splitthis started therapy and got on antipsychotics.

[sonatine]

Nice to see splitthis started therapy and got on antipsychotics.

split has bigger fish to fry

Embedded Tweet

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[FRANKRIZZO]

What was the felony for?

[desertrunner]

Chapter 4- When Druff visited me at work, that’s when life really changed.

[The Boz]

Did your mom charge extra for anal or was she budget conscious and provide it at no extra cost?

Welcome!

[1dollarboxcar]

very interesting.... i would like to hear how all 3 of you ended up in jail....

[BetCheckBet]

Are we sure this is not splitthis?

[sonatine]

Are we sure this is not splitthis?

split this is a hell of a lot older than 54.



54 year olds dont have to resort to stalking 70+ year old men at the gym for dick generally.


.. and then get rejected.

[BCR]

I want to believe, but a baby conceived at Woodstock wouldn't be born in early 1970. I mean if your birthday was yesterday and you were a few weeks premature, it's possible. But early 1970 feels like Jan-March, in which case she was already well pregnant by Woodstock. The vast majority of babies conceived at Woodstock would be 53 today or it would basically be their birthday this week. I am 54. My mother was 7 months pregnant during Woodstock and I wasn't born until late 69.

[NickyPipes]

Are you DTF?

If so send a DM and my assistant will reach out and book you a ticket