I tend to have a lot of dreams regarding hiking/visiting (fictional) places out in nature. While this sounds pleasant/relaxing, I often run into frustrating or disturbing situations which turn it into a bothersome dream or a nightmare. For example, sometimes it abruptly gets dark, sometimes I get lost, sometimes I lose the other people I'm with (this is probably the most common), sometimes I find myself super far away from where I parked my car, and sometimes there's an artificial barrier like a wall which is blocking me from getting back. Occasionally these are even worse, where some kind of violence occurs, or someone is attempting to kill/hurt me.
Would be great if I could just have nice, relaxing hiking dreams, especially because the places themselves are often beautiful and sometimes otherworldly. But my brain won't just let it be easy.
In this case, I was with a big group of poker players, and we were hiking in some kind of beautiful rocky canyon looking area, similar to what one might find in Arizona or Utah. Everything was normal until we got to some kind of concrete rest house, which I think was supposed to be at the trailhead. Most of the poker players in the group were fictional. One of the guys was tall, around 30, and overweight, and while he was supposed to be a fellow poker pro, he doesn't exist in real life. He announced, "I really need to piss", and then whipped it out and just started spraying piss into the crowded room. I was closest to him, and tried to get away, and everyone else jumped back. The piss shot really far, and ended up hitting both me and another dude. Both of us were really grossed out and angry, especially because we kept yelling at him to stop, and he didn't.
When the pissing stopped, the other victim of the urination ran up and tried to fight the guy, but he got pulled away. Right then, I felt like a pussy for sitting there with piss on me, and not doing anything about it like the other guy tried to do. So I then ran up to the dude also and tried to hit him for this, but was separated by someone trying to get in between us.
As hard as I tried, I couldn't get to him. I temporarily let it go, but I saw the guy again in some weird tunnel thing we were walking through, so I tried to hit him again, and once again someone got in between and stopped it. Instead, I settled for just insulting him, and saying as mean of things as I could. (I don't remember exactly what I said.)
Eventually I found myself outside again, but it was dark, and implied to be hours (or even a day) later. I was in front of a chasm where people were allowed to go down via steep steps. I heard some commotion coming from there, and I could swear I was hearing my name and unflattering things being said.
I approached closer, and I saw mickeycrimm in the chasm, speaking to a group of people, who were also in there. They had on some kind of yellow lantern illuminating it. I watched Mickey give his speech, and it turned out the entire bass of it was telling everyone what a horrible person I was, and how I can't control my temper.
Angry at Mickey, but not wanting to start a confrontation with him in front of his entire group, I walked away. However, some random approached me and told me I should be ashamed of myself. I asked why, and the person was shocked I didn't know.
"He killed himself. You're telling me you don't know that?", the person said.
"Who killed himself?", I asked.
"The guy you tried to fight with, and whom you said all of those awful things. It really got to him. He took his own life yesterday, and he wrote in the suicide note that it was because of you", the person condescendingly explained.
The rest of the dream was people glaring at me like I was a terrible guy, and I realized that everyone in poker blamed me for this dude's suicide. I guess I didn't have the right to insult him after he literally pissed on me (and another guy) for no reason.
I also felt immense guilt that my words caused the dude to kill himself. So I had this really depressing feeling of both guilt and dread. I thought I would forever be branded an asshole who caused a guy to commit suicide.
I called my girlfriend and explained the situation to her.
"I messed up. I was too mean," I told her. "Now he's dead, and between the guilt and knowing how everyone is going to see me forever, I don't know how I'll ever get over this."
Then I woke up.
Thanks, Mickey.
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Originally Posted by sonatine
